My ancestors are making me ill

I woke up this morning with a drippy nose and a stuffed head. Decided to look into the matter a little more deeply and discovered that I wasn't really 'ill' I just had a few ancestors dropping by to say 'Hi'. They call themselves Mr. & Mrs. Bacillium - I have a picture  of them taking a stroll across a decaying leaf 3.2 billion years ago (I think it was a Sunday).

When questioned what they do for a living they assured me that they were the 'Ultimate entrepreneur'. This is what I found out about them. One of the defining characteristics of this lovely family (yes I forgot to mention they also brought along several billion of their children to visit me) is their remarkable resilience.

Right from the beginning they encouraged their offspring to learn as much as they could about the world - father bacillus constant advice was that the foolish bacillus expects the world to adapt to them - the wise bacilli adapts themselves to the world. This simple principle became the mantra of subsequent generations and served them well. Bacilliciums discovered that by applying this little piece of advice they were able to colonize 95% (check stat) of the world's surfaces. Bacilli found themselves in the fridges and garbage pails of the highest and mightiest on the planet. Rubbing shoulders with presidents, philosophers (Nietzsche was a close friend) and great generals of the planets history.

They began in lowly circumstances - however they opened their very first colony on a dead leaf and never looked back (they technically don't have eyes so to be brutally honest, it would never have occurred to them). They also claim that I am, more or less, a direct decendent - am not sure whether I should be proud or ashamed.

The unnerving thing about this whole encounter is that I get the weiredest feeling they know more about me than I do about them. Excuse me while I blow my nose.